The Journey within my Scoliotic Terrain

Growing up I was not the girl who did handstands and cartwheels. I was scared to hang upside down. It made me feel sick and disorientated. As an adult, I can look back and realise I was bound up in fear. I did not trust my body to support me.

When I was twelve years old, I was diagnosed with scoliosis. From what I remember, it was considered to be quite mild and I really didn’t think much of it. However, I now realise that my scoliotic body has had a greater impact on me than I first thought. This is the story of my journey within my scoliotic terrain.

I have always been aware that my body is not symmetrical. One side is shorter and more compressed than the other. At times, my right shoulder feels tight and rigid. My right foot naturally turns outward. I have a slight tilt in my neck. As a teenage girl, I was very self-conscious, particularly in the summer time when swimming togs were common attire. Thinking back, I don’t remember ever relating my physical asymmetry to my scoliosis. Maybe, I was too young to make the connection.

During my twenties and thirties, I had lower back problems, which were exacerbated by pregnancy. The only relief I found was in a regular yoga practice. Yoga has been my mainstay – the one thing to which I have always returned. When I practice consistently, I am a different person: physically, mentally and emotionally. With that in mind, I finally undertook my yoga teacher training with Carrie-Anne Fields at My Health Yoga in Brisbane. That decision has changed the way I experience life within my body.

As part of my teacher training, I was practicing yoga almost every day. I had this mental mindset, as many new teachers can probably attest to, that I had to perform every pose perfectly. “How else could I possibly teach others if I could not do the poses myself?” Consequently, I pushed my body to make it conform, not really knowing that I was doing more harm than good. The first indication was pain through my right hip and gluteal. This pain would return after every yoga class, at times being so intense I could barely walk out of the room. Still, I said nothing, thinking that I would just have to be better. As I progressed through my training, my ego started to dissipate and I tuned in to one of the key principles of yoga – non-violence to self and others (ahimsa). One of my wonderful My Health teachers, who is also a physiotherapist, explained that not every body is designed to do every posture. It took me a while to assimilate this piece of information. I had just assumed that one practices yoga, becomes more strong and flexible and performs the pose. End of story.

Then I started to take more care with my body. I pulled out the old x-rays of my spine and I researched. I decided that the reason my hip was giving me so much grief was due to a tight psoas muscle on my right side. I worked on lengthening through this area and I started to find a small amount of relief. I also worked at a metaphysical level, trying to let go of my ‘baggage’ and giving more to myself. It was during this time, I came across the website of Narelle Carter-Quinlan, a yoga teacher who delves specifically into the realm of scoliosis, spinal health and back-care. The next step in the developing awareness of my body was about to begin.

After completing my teacher training with My Health Yoga, for which I will be forever grateful, I enrolled in a teacher-training course with Narelle. Together, these two courses have transformed my life.

What is Scoliosis?

Quite simply, scoliosis refers to a curvature of the spine. In reality, scoliosis is anything but simple. It is a complex, three-dimensional shift in the axial path of the spine. There are two main types of scoliosis. Structural scoliosis is a permanent condition, mostly idiopathic in nature, developing during an adolescent growth spurt. In contrast, functional scoliosis develops as a result of an underlying condition and is not necessarily permanent.

Approximately 80% of structural scoliosis is idiopathic. In order to receive a formal diagnosis, the curve needs to be greater than 10° from midline. More females than males are diagnosed with idiopathic scoliosis. This type of scoliosis results in a change of spinal structure. Functional scoliosis mostly impacts at the level of connective tissues and muscles. It develops as a result of an underlying condition, such as inflammation or poor postural habits. A functional scoliosis responds much more rapidly to corrective treatment than a structural scoliosis.

Curve patterns in scoliosis are either a ‘C’ or ‘S’ shape and are named according to the location of the curve within the spine: cervical, thoracic or lumbar. The curve can be contained within one region, or can impact across regions, e.g. thoracolumbar scoliosis. When describing scoliosis, reference is made to the ‘convexities’ and ‘concavities’ of the curve. On the convex side of the curve, the muscle mass is often overstretched, and the bony structure can feel quite rigid, while the bone density is lower. A thoracic convexity is often most noticeable as a ‘rib hump’ in a forward bend. Scoliosis is named according to the direction of the convexity, e.g. ‘right thoracic scoliosis’. On the concave side of the curve, muscles, tendons and ligaments are tight and retracted. Yoga works to lengthen through the concavity, creating strength, length and space.

sourced from Gary Leung

Scoliosis is different for every individual, as people all experience their bodies in different ways. Some of the impacts of scoliosis include:

• ·       back, neck and/or shoulder pain
• ·       instability of the spinal joints
• ·       imbalance in the muscles
• ·       poor limb integration
• ·       asymmetry of the body
• ·       respiratory difficulties and decreased lung volume
• ·       weaker muscle strength, particularly in upper body and quadriceps
• ·       vestibular imbalances (e.g. spatial awareness, sensory integration)
• ·       low bone mineral density
• ·       anxiety, caused by the over-facilitation of the sympathetic nervous system
• ·       decreased tonicity in organs
• ·       poor body awareness
• ·       feelings of emotional imbalance and restriction

What does yoga have to offer the scoliotic body?

Personally, I have found this journey amazing. For the first time in my life, I feel like I inhabit my body. I no longer have the hip pain I was experiencing. I have an increased awareness of my physical self and I know what postures are beneficial for me. There is more strength in my spine and it feels as though a sense of calm has spread throughout my entire back body.  My nervous system has settled and I feel freedom within. The creation of physical space within my body has been emotional. During my practice, I had a moment in which I suddenly realised I have spent my whole life feeling restricted: physically, mentally and emotionally. In that moment of realisation, I also felt extreme release. It’s hard to explain, but in that moment, I felt free. Even as I write, my emotions are rising once more.

I am no longer that girl who is scared to hang upside down, in fact I relish in the opportunity to do so. I recently took myself into my first headstand, with feelings of great elation. When I practice inversions, my brain begins to re-pattern as it adjusts to the new orientation. I no longer feel anxiety. I don’t move into panic. Instead, I make sure I have done my research so I know where my weight should be placed. I know which parts of my body to align. I know which muscles to engage. This has helped me tremendously. It has given me confidence in my body and in its ability to support me.

I now trust myself more.

This experience has changed my teaching. I help others to explore the landscape of their body, rather than working solely from my own. I breathe with them and tune in to their experience so that I have a better idea of what to offer. Ultimately, through yoga, I want to invite spaces into their body. Not just physical spaces, but emotional spaces as well, so that they too can learn to trust and let go.

References

Miller, E.B. Yoga for Scoliosis (Therapeutic Back Care). Elise Browning Miller, California, 2003.

Monroe, M. Yoga and Scoliosis: A journey to health and healing. Demos Medical Publishing, New York, 2012.

Four Common Curve Patterns Illustrations by Gary Leung

Beginning the Journey

                   

          

I have always loved writing. 

It is the creation of art, the  flow of expression, the journey, the insights into one's soul. So as I embark on my new journey, I have decided to write once again - 

the perfect accompaniment to my travels.  

Recently, I engaged in a task from Patti Digh's 37days.com: 

Your memory is going to be erased in 5 minutes. You have that amount of time to write down everything you need or want to remember.

So what did I write?

I began, as many people would, with family. Husband and children's names, dates of births, pivotal details. I then moved onto my sisters and wrote about the beautiful connection we share: kindered spirits. I wrote about my brother, his rough exterior and warm heart. Then I moved onto my parents, beautiful people who have always given of their best, in every situation. My mother-in-law, so generous in spirit. My father-in-law, now deceased, who loved his family and sought out the fun in life. I wrote about the animals with which we share our lives. 

I wrote about myself. I wrote about my love of writing, reading, yoga and children.  I am a sucker for babies of any kind, especially my beautiful niece.  I am passionate about working with children who have special needs. I recently spent 15 months working at The Glenleighden School, and have learnt so much. I spent 12 years of my life teaching at Villanova College and I don't catch up with past colleagues nearly as much as I would like.   I love watching my kids play sport. I want to grow a garden :) I teach, yet I love to learn. I love sitting on my deck, looking at our palm trees, enjoying a glass of red wine. I have friends. I have family. Finally, I wrote about the life I want to create. I told myself to take more risks in life, to go to the beach more often, to play games and have fun. 

Then my 5 minutes was over.

I pondered over the next part of the activity:

Did you look to others to define your life by writing down names and phone numbers of people who could remind you of who you are? Did you write your life as it now is, even with all the things you don't like about it - or did you describe it as you'd like it to be? 

I realised I wrote about the parts of my life I love and the parts I am yet to create. As I begin my new journey with Tree of Mind, I have taken a huge leap into the unknown. I have moved into a place of trust: trust in myself and trust in what the universe provides. Taking risks can be challenging, it places us into vulnerability - a very uncomfortable place to be. But then we learn. And then we grow.

                                             xx Tracey xx