My life’s journey is a calling. A gift. I
ponder over the meaning of that word.
Gift.
The way it feels in my mouth, my mind, my
heart. For me it is a deep journey – I can feel the sensation deep within my
soul.
I know my calling is to be of service to
others. Of that I have no doubt. I have always been drawn towards marginalised
groups in society, in particular, those people who have special needs, with no
voice to speak up for themselves. Even as a teenager, my bookshelf was stocked
with life stories about people with a range of needs… autism, schizophrenia,
depression, down syndrome…
In response to this calling, I have spent
the last 18 years teaching and have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunities it has
offered. However, is teaching a gift I
share with others when there is an expectation of payment at the end of each
fortnight? I can put my heart and soul into my teaching, but would I do it
without financial reward? How could I?
In my ongoing pursuit of happiness, I
recently started my own business with the intent of sharing yoga with people
with special needs. This is something I absolutely believe in and am very
passionate about. The benefits of yoga for everyone are scientifically proven,
and this is so much the case for those with special needs. However, I find
myself in a quandary. As I rely upon income to maintain qualify of life for
myself and our family, I am once again left wondering:
How can my yoga be a gift?
Since moving into this field, I have become
more aware how truly difficult it is for families of children with special
needs. This is a highly underfunded part of society. I find myself feeling
stuck. My desire to give is being compromised.
I realise that in order to be able to give,
I need to receive consistent income. This seems like a contradiction. Am I ever
truly giving if I need to receive first? I find myself thinking of a quote I
once heard about filling your own cup before being able to fill the cups of
others. I realise that in order to share my yoga with marginalised groups in
society, I need to earn a consistent income first. I don’t want to charge for my yoga. I want to
share it … as a gift.
So I now find myself in new territory. In
an ideal world, our economy would not rely so heavily on material wealth. It
would be a culture of peer support, giving back and paying forward. I believe this movement is starting to
happen. Consciousness is rising. But for me, personally, I need to be able to
give – free of expectation or financial reward. For the reward is in the giving
itself.
And so my journey continues.
xx Tracey xx
